*Other than finding a half bottle of vodka behind the cat food this morning.

One of the main reasons I have refused to jump on the Xbox 360 bandwagon is because of the astronomical failure rate the system surfers from. I know that the newer systems are supposedly more reliable and the extended warranty covers the RRoD problem, but it is something I still don’t want to chance. I have heard enough horror stories about MS rejecting a 360 warranty because the problem wasn’t a specific RRoD or people waiting over six weeks to get their unit back to know that I simply don’t want to fuck around with this. I can’t justify investing over $400 (system, games, controller, Live subscription) into something that I am just going to wait on to break.

The real dilemma with a 360, for me at least, is that for better or worse the system has a number of intriguing exclusive titles. Dead Rising, Bio-Shock, Gears, Halo, and Left 4 Dead are all games that I anticipate to play.* On top of that the price is right on a 360 and they look decent on a SDTV (I don’t plan on upgrading to a HDTV anytime soon). While I do like the PS3 and some of the games that the system offers (Warhawk, MSG4, and Little Big Planet), I would never purchase one without an HDTV. The PS3 looks like an absolute abortion on a SDTV.

So here I am at the gaming crossroads. I want a new system because the Wii is no longer passing muster. I don’t have the scratch on hand to purchase a new TV (thus making the PS3 worth owning), but I also refuse to purchase a 360 that in all likelihood will break sooner or later. Luckily for me, Fortuna has finally spun her wheel in my favor.

Seeing as my avatar is Mega Man, it would be almost criminal for me not to post something about a little game called MEGA MAN 9! This was announced awhile ago, and GamesRadar got the first look, but in the last couple days more information has emerged about the game. For starters, this game is an actual old-school Mega Man game. From the graphics to the music, as this video demonstrates, Mega Man is back in his true form. A part of me would have liked to see a bit of a graphical update, similar to the GBA game Mega Man and Bass, but another part of me is giddy as a schoolgirl about the classic look. One thing that I believe to be spot on, however, is the music. I am totally ready to get these songs stuck in my head as I mercilessly perish for hours on end through seemingly impossible levels. One massive departure from the original 8 Mega Man games is that the glass ceiling has been shattered. That’s right, Splash Women (as in a robot with a vagina type women) will be a boss. That is what I call progress people!

To make this whole event even sweeter, Capcom announced they will be dropping this gem for 1,000 Wii Points (that’s $10 in a world that makes goddamn sense). Alright, time to bust out the FireNES and fuck up Heat Man’s world with a little bubble power until this puppy is released later in the fall!

Just like your grandparents, and everything else you love for that matter, your iPod will one day die. Last week the Reaper claimed the life of my beloved iPod. I knew that the time was coming. It was a fourth generation click-wheel that was used heavily, everyday for the last three and a half years. In the last month it had been showing the symptoms of a declining device; constant freezes, nonresponsive buttons and such. Nonetheless, I was still taken aback when I turned on the iPod and was greeted with this, the dreaded sad-face iPod icon. I checked the Apple support site, as the sad iPod beckoned me to, and ran through the basic 5Rs or rescuing a downed iPod. They were to no avail. My iPod required servicing.

I’ll keep this short and sweet. The FireNES add-on for Firefox will allow you to play over 1000 NES and other old-school games within your freaking browser. Listen closely in the next week and you might be able to actually hear the dip in productivity at offices across the world as this spreads. TPS reports? Fuck you, I’m entering the Konami Code and taking my anger out on the Red Falcon alien army instead of my co-workers and/or wife later tonight.

UPDATE: The main FireNES site appears to be in Spanish and not loading. Since my Spanish skills are limited to ordering at Taco Bell and I hate waiting for pages to load; here is an alternative download site (it was the first one that appeared in a Google search).

I awoke last night in an urgent panic. Something wasn’t right. I stumbled to the bathroom and unleashed the full fury on my piss against the porcelain. After a full night of boozing, unlike last time, I made it to the toilet in enough time to be rewarded with dry sheets when I returned to the sack. As I headed back to the bedroom I noticed that something else was afoot. The living room had an alien glow to it. My ninja skills immediately kicked in. After falling over the dining room chair (I was still drunk) I prepared to bust a roundhouse kick to the source of the disturbance. I did a wicked combat role into the living room and crushed the intruder. To my dismay it was only the Wii alerting me to update 3.3.

To the dismay of all Nintendo Wii homebrew/import fans, update 3.3 apparently destroys the homebrew scene, Freeloader, and the Twilight Princess exploit (similar to how alcohol has destroyed my liver). In all seriousness, for the .01% of Wii owners involved with or every plan on getting involved in homebrew or importing games; avoid this update.

Hey everybody, it’s Choose Your Own Adventure story time at Button-Smasher! Your cousin gives you some Mc Chris songs. You listen to the songs and they make you (vomit in your mouth a little; one happy geek). You check out more songs from his new album and decide that (Mc Chris really sucks; you want to purchase the new album because the shit is ill, yo). In making the purchase you (want the hard copy; don’t want a hard copy because all your music is digitally stored and you don’t need another CD occupying valuable space in your increasingly cramped living-quarters). However, you discover that the online album is six tracks shorter than the actual CD. You think (that’s okay, I likely won’t miss these really good songs; this is bullshit, I want the whole album). You want the instant satisfaction that comes with an online music purchase, but will settle on buying the CD and waiting. You find out the CD is $18. (That sounds reasonable, the price of a CD shouldn’t have dropped since the mid 90s anyways; This is bullshit). You (suck it up and purchase the limited online album or wait for the overpriced CD; grab a torrent and promise yourself to go see Mc Chris live and/or purchase the next album). I’ll let you decide the last one, but either way the story should end with you getting the new Mc Chris album, Mc Chris is Dead.